Monday, March 7, 2011

People I Could Do Without - (Part II)

--Rich people who think that just because they have money they deserve to be respected. Well I have some news for you; respect isn’t just granted, it has to be earned. So the only thing you deserve is a terminal disease that would hopefully but improbably teach you how to appreciate the important things in life and realize that you are in no way better than others.
Maybe I’m being too harsh on you; this isn’t entirely your fault. This principle has been empowered by the self-respecting people that surround you who keep unzipping your pants, sliding them down, turning you around and laying a smooch on your butt. Hey, a cheek is a cheek! To those I say I hope that herpes eat your face away till there is nothing but bone. Show me with which lips you’re going to kiss butts now! HAHA!

--These enormously fat girls who for some reason that is beyond my understanding, and I am somehow understanding, decide to wear a tank top that hides nothing but their nipples and unveil every other piece of meat in their hideous corpuses. Add to them these dudes (we do not want to be sexist here) with manboobs and pregnant men bellies who wear slim fit t-shirts that leave nothing to the imagination. What’s that you say? You’re not ashamed of your body? Well that’s the problem; you should be. Go on a diet and exercise for god’s sake; you make me wish I was blind!

--People who think they are funny. You’re not!!! Now stop bothering me with your lame nonsense and leave me alone!

--People who touch me whenever they have something to say. You know these types; always with the delightful poke in the ribs or the leg or the enchanting nudge with the elbow. Hey asswipe, I hear with my ears OK? It’s not that what you’re saying has any use anyways, but I would really like to tell you how I feel about you by knocking you to the ground and kicking you in the mouth till you can speak no more!

--These drivers who are lost and stop me for directions. Just because I’m walking doesn’t mean that I’m from around, keep driving before I smash your windshield and next time do your research before wandering aimlessly! I have better things to do than to help you reach a probably useless place where you will further degrade human intelligence by interacting with a precious life form such as yourself.
(Yes I know I said human intelligence but this is only to make a clearer point.)

--People who cross the highway underneath the crossing bridge. These highly evolved supreme beings alone have managed to get hold of the ultimate secret of “The Crossing Bridge!!!” This structure has been built for the sole purpose of shading the passengers while they are crossing from one side to the other but I cannot comprehend this concept because I still am way below on the food chain.
Are there no active cells in these people’s brains? The bridge is there!!! Use it!!! What? Oh you have acrophobia? Well deal with it or you’ll have to deal with my wheels!
I’m starting a petition to pass a law that will make it illegal to pass these types by without running them over and over and over again, back and forth till they become an indivisible part of the highway asphalt.

--These small “investors” who keep opening different businesses in that shop down the street that never seems to remain operational for more than 2 months. We all know this shop, every area has one; every now and then some ambitious person comes and remodels it, fills it with the products he is so proud to be selling only to go bankrupt after a while. This is when another determined entrepreneur comes along to go through the same cycle.
Why do you keep investing in that shop? It is cursed!!! Just tear it down and go on with your lives!

--People who say “welcome” when you say “thank you” (Yes I’m attacking you as well). Now this is really something! Imagine this scenario: you do some random act of kindness to somebody; to show their gratitude, they say “oh thank you very much”.
OK that’s it! It should stop here and each of you should go their separate way. But no, you can’t have this happening, can you? You must say “welcome!”
But why? This is really insecure, the “welcome” here serves as an extra unneeded act of kindness that will in turn require another form of gratitude; usually a smile from the other person or a pat on the back or whatever. They thanked you, be happy with it and just move on to your next pointless act!

--Everyone else not mentioned here. Come to think of it, I could do without everybody!



2 comments:

  1. I especially hate the "manboobs and pregnant men bellies"! lol

    You forgot (well, maybe you didn't because it's probably not something that you hate) those who use text message or twitter English. It's sad because Words are important.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm always open to hating new people. :D

    ReplyDelete

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