Monday, April 4, 2011

Answer: Unknown - Part I

--Why do people keep talking to me when I tell them they have the wrong number? “Wrong number? Really? What number did I dial?” Shut the hell up, I don’t care about your idiotic rambling. 

--Why do people always assume that I know that number that just called them and hung up when they don’t? Do you know this number? I don’t know this number. Who could it be? Oh god I must know! Here’s a clue, why don’t you fucking call back?

--Why do people always ask me if I know that person who looks like me? And it’s usually always a person with a different family name. Hey do you know Semsom Zebbelleef? No why would I know him? He looks just like you! And I am supposed to know him because??? Is there a lookalikes club of which I have not been informed? Get the fuck away from me!

--Why do people always say “Thanks” whenever they step out of the elevator on their designated floor? Really, I didn’t do anything; I was just standing here contemplating you, scrutinizing every detail in you to make you feel as awkward as possible, but I had nothing to do with the practice of the elevator lifting you to your destination.

--Why is it that people always bring up someone else’s credibility whenever they’re telling a story (which usually is too embellished and very difficult to swallow)? You don’t believe me ask Semsom Zebbelleef! (Here’s that prick again!) Who the hell is this character and why would he be any less of a liar than you are??!!

--Why is there always a heavy traffic jam on every road in Lebanon during business hours?? They’re the business hours damn it! It’s the time for everybody to be at their work doing business! What? Is everybody in the whole country now working in outdoor sales and product delivery? If so, who is receiving the salespersons and the delivered goods? And don’t ask me what I’m doing on the road during business hours because it’s none of your business…


  1. U r reading my mind now!!!? Excellent as usual :)

  2. For at least five years now, I've been receiving calls not so very often on my mobile from people asking for "al-7ajjeh 3a2isha". And exactly what you describe in your first point happens :) Annoying much!

    As for point number five, I remember my ex and I had a huge disagreement (with lots of lingering negative vibes) when he claimed I was "Appealing to Authority" when I brought in someone else's credibility. In my own defense, I only did it because that person was an expert in the field we were discussing (in which both my ex and I were not even experts), and if this expert does not have any credibility, then who does? I am not saying never question someone's credibility, but I am saying that sometimes experts are experts for a reason and they know some of their shit :)

    Anyways, I just wanted to say that your points are valid. But, there are always exceptions.

  3. hahah great points stain !

  4. oh dear i seem to be guilty of a few of those. and also experiencing them. but the traffic jams point. exactly exactly i ask myself the same thing. hilarious. another reason why we badly need ecommerce. can you believe people are still havin to drive to the customer to pick up a cheque for god's sakes?


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