Monday, May 9, 2011

Lebanon Wins At The Science Fair

Ibrahim Halawa, Little Stain Science Staff Writer

Congratulations Lebanon!!!

It has been declared today that this tiny country will be receiving the Milky Way Award for Outstanding Biological Evolution!

This long overdue achievement has been finally recognized after eons of research! The ceremony will take place on Pluto this 31st of June.

For those of you who never heard of this award before, let me explain: it is given once every 0.5 billion years to any environment that outdoes nature and produces a new extraordinary organism.

A huge controversy exists of course over whether or not Earth has the right to participate in this competition because Earth was created in 6 days and did not undergo the natural billion-year evolution of your everyday planet and was by itself the success for which God won this award 4.5 billion years ago.

Nevertheless, Lebanon won this time!

Accomplishment:

It is the first terrain ever to be able to create a self-cannibalistic parasitic host. This living thing, dubbed Libanisus Hypocritus, hosts with open arms creatures of other species and/or the same species but lives off of them at the same time. It drains all the blood and energy out of them and if they ever were gifted enough to see past all the cunning and realized it, they would be able to take no more and either flee, go insane or commit suicide.

A study also showed that killing either the male or female forms was ineffective at stopping the spread of the parasite.

This genus is not to be confused with carnivorous plants because plants are not parasites whereas humans are.

Once again, congratulations Lebanon, you did it! WOOP TI DOO!

It is still undecided, of course, who will be attending this event in order to deny such allegations about the Lebanese people. All the sect leaders (the real ones and the ones who claim to be) will be meeting soon in order to choose a date for meeting to decide on this issue.

On a Social Note:

On the light of this announcement, hundreds of non-governmental organizations involved in spending resources and time on studying how such a society can be so welcoming and righteous yet so insulting and immoral at the same time have immediately ceased all operation pertaining to bettering the social situation on the Lebanese soil and found new hobbies.


P.S: The creator of God is still to be located in order to be handed its award.

1 comment:

  1. Hahahahaha true true.. from observation I can tell it's a very opportunistic species!
    Style 3ajjel b*asou abl ma yeb*asak!!

    ReplyDelete

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