Monday, May 16, 2011

Life as We Love It...or Hate It - Part I

--Don’t you love it when someone (or you) speaks about his body as if it was something with a mind and a life of its own? “My body’s getting tired”; “I know my body”; “my body’s trying to tell me this or that”, etc.
OK I’m going to say this once, you are your body and your body is you, you are not something outside of it, you are not just a brain which in turn is, guess what, a part of your body! You are one entity deal with it. It’s you who’s getting tired, you know yourself, and you’re the one trying to tell yourself something. And no this does not qualify as an early stage of split personality. Even if you talk to yourself, you are still sane. It’s yourself talking back to you what you should be worried about.

--Don’t you hate it how girls can now go back to being virgins with only a few bucks? They can just buy a legally distributed artificial hymen and POOF everything is the way it was as if nothing happened. Or so the sales pitch claims.
I don’t like this one bit, and not from a moral point of view as in this is religiously and socially hypocritical; we are all aware of the level of hypocrisy that exists in this region. No, this time I’m jealous; I want an invention like this for guys. We have rights too you know! It’s true that nothing physical happens for us in this sacred split second of deflowering, but something has to change! I should go speak to god about this, if I can find it, and then we’ll see what’s what.

--Don’t you love it how hearing a couple of dirty jokes can harm the children? Sure, developing a sense of humor can severely injure a child’s mind whereas brainwashing this child into worshipping the fat ass of a certain politician and taking him/her to every single protest will make a very fine, well adjusted human being out of him/her.

--Don’t you hate it how whenever you wear shoes that have some sort of design in their sole every pebble in the world seems to fit perfectly in those curves? Does this happen to someone other than me or am I cursed? Whenever I go out walking and come home my shoes transform into tap dancing shoes. It’s like they’re pebble magnets. Yet, whenever I want to throw a pebble at someone, sometimes as a reaction, sometimes for fun, I can never find one. Maybe I should save the pebbles my shoes collect…

1 comment:

  1. Your second and third point are more related than you might think:

    The Lebanese are huge fans of symbols. They like their symbolic virginities as much as they like their symbolic democracy. Who needs the real thing when you can just fake it?

    ReplyDelete

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