Monday, May 23, 2011

Life as We Love It...or Hate It - Part II

--Don’t you love it how the saying “I hit two birds with one stone” is still highly in use? Why? Who still throws stones at birds? Palestinians, the most talented stone throwers in the world, don’t even do it. How did this saying survive anyways? I think only cavemen used this hunting technique and they didn’t even speak or write. So how did the message get through to us? Was it painted on some cave wall? Was it telepathically handed down through the ages? We should seriously revise our everyday language.

--Don’t you hate it how when it’s raining heavily and you have taken every precaution available to keep yourself from getting wet with the thick clothes, the umbrella, the walking under perched balconies, a drop of cold water suddenly comes splashing in your hair? I would rather soak to death and not have that happen. How in hell did it get past this highly advanced fortress of security?

--Don’t you love it how you cannot have a civil marriage in Lebanon but you can still legally register the one you had outside? What does this say about this country? Uncivil is too soft of a word so I won’t use it. Fucked up is overused. I need a different vocabulary or a different way to view this issue…hmmm…What if…no…oh wait…no that’s not right either… I got it! Our country is a victim of a big international conspiracy devised by Cyprus so they can keep profiting from hundreds of Lebanese couples going there to get wed and there’s nothing we can do about it. There you go. Ahhh denial, I rest myself in your sweet loving arms.

--Don’t you hate men colored shirts that have white necks and tips of sleeves? You never see a white shirt with colored necks and sleeves, do you? NO! And you know why? Because it would look hideous. People wearing shirts of that sort should be banned from society and those designing them should be crucified. Maybe on a wooden cross with the edges painted in white.  

3 comments:

  1. I have two words for you: Angry Birds (the game). This is how the proverb survived :P

    As for the civil marriage issue, I think they're betting on the Lebanese people's love of festivities with the extended family when it comes to weddings to be enough of a deterrent for people to massively go for the cyprus option (flying two entire families is a bit annoying).

    On a side note, chill dude :)

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  2. HAHAHAHA! Ok, we get it, the entire universe is worthy of scorn. Of course, I still expect you to gleefully detail HOW, but for now just wanted to add my voice to yours in condemning Cyprus (those cads!!).
    Great stuff :D

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  3. Lol, Once I offered my seat on the bus to a very old and frail man with a cane. He was swinging right and left at every turn the bus took. I got severely scolded.
    That was my good deed that got me punished

    ReplyDelete

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