Thursday, July 25, 2013

People That Piss Me Off - Two

--Taxi drivers standing on corners eyeing girls and throwing kisses and pick up lines at every occasion. Yeah because the last time I checked, while growing up, every little girl’s dream is to marry an under-evolved taxi driver…

--People who expect me to apologize for waking them up when I called. Well screw you, you don’t want to be woken up you silence your phone; that’s how the world works!

--Chinese people

--Store owners that frown at me whenever I pass by with a bag full of stuff from other stores. What? You want me to be a loyal customer? Put in a little more effort. You don’t see me getting offended when you brandish your products to other customers like a whore!

--People with “only God can judge me” stickers and tattoos. Guess what? I already judged you and found you to be a retarded moron, you can call me God now.

--People who feel the need to say what it smells like. These people are even worse than those who go “wow it’s so quiet” when it’s quiet. You know you’d be passing in an area that smells like shit and you can all smell it but they feel that it’s their obligation to be Captain Smoke Detector! and go “oh god it smells like shit, it’s horrible! Can you smell that? Can you smell that?” yes we can all smell it, it smells horrible and the last thing we need is your whining on top of it thank you very much!

--Actors in documentaries. So this is it folks huh? That’s as high as your ambition can go? Screw Hollywood, screw artsy movies, screw digging inside your fears to convey the deepest emotions in front of a camera, I’m playing a Neanderthal scratching his butt and smelling his finger afterwards in a low-budget three-hour long independent documentary…




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