Thursday, June 19, 2014

The Thing With Racism

Whether you like to admit it or not, we all have racist thoughts, after all we all have a little racist inside us - or a big one, you know, depending on its race – and sometimes these thoughts find themselves out in the open, hanging in the form of words for everyone out there to hear.

But fear no more! For I have compiled a list of tactful excuses you can use to get yourself off the hook. So whenever you find yourself in a room that you’ve awkwardly silenced because of your extremely honest remarks on a certain group of people, you can break the silence by employing one or more of the following sentences:

-I’m not racist; I’m just a statistics aficionado

-I’m not racist; I hate people from the same race as mine as well

-I’m not racist; in fact I have never been able to enjoy the sight of a rainbow, that's how colorblind I am! 

-I’m not racist; I don’t even like fast cars

-I’m not racist; I’m just highly selective

-I’m not racist; I’m not even white

-I’m not racist; I also dislike mixed people

-I’m not racist; in fact I have two monkeys at home

-I’m not racist; but I’m quite observational

And last but not least:

-I’m not racist; I treat all genetic anomalies equally!

You can thank me later

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